Sorry I never replied to your email from 2014. Still thinking about it

[watching grimace furiously jack off to completion in the shake machine] two grimace shakes please

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[tony danza voice] ai-o-li

We are the goon squad and we're coming to town Beep-beep

Me to the vending machine: Mother, I must feed

nostalgic for a time when i could read the news without knowing every reporter’s lore

why’s it called a stock exchange when it could be a stakehouse

they should invent a pie that is healthy to eat a whole one of

they should invent a job that pays you what you’re worth