It really sucks I have so few people left in my life that I can be real with because everyone else either is or turned into a batshit bigot. and I'm so tired. And now I'm trying to quietly disappear from this guy's radar and it's hard because he's used to CHECKING ON ME to make sure I'm okay.

And "you'd have to be stupid to approach someone with a gun anyway". And I'm just like.. they're kids. with rocks. "Well they could really hurt someone with those." Worse than a GUN?? And he's gotten immeasurably worse since last year.

He's just obnoxiously anti-Palestinian as of a couple years ago when I showed him video of some palestinian kids throwing rocks at IDF soldiers and then GETTING SHOT and he was like "well the video isn't showing everything so they no doubt did something to deserve it."

Now it seems like just because his sister married a Muslim guy, he's gone full Zionist. Like, he's part Jewish by ancestry but nobody in his family practices the religion or speaks the language as far as I know and he doesn't have any family in Israel that I know of.

Dang, your makeup is ON POINT.

The thing I kinda miss most is how her fur smelled when she'd been lying in a patch of sunlight. Sometimes I'd bury my face in her warm flank while she purred and then immediately go wash my face and it wouldn't be TOO bad. The sniffles were worth it.

I guess I could go back on allergy shots bc they did help somewhat several years ago. A full course of those could MAYBE get me to a point where I'd be unaffected, and then if I GOT a cat, there's my constant inoculation. But I don't think my health insurance would cover it.

I really wish I could have a cat again and that I could pet one and not have my eye swell shut in 5 minutes if I absentmindedly touched my face without washing my hands. I've heard Rex cats are about as close as you can get to hypoallergenic but they cost almost an entire car down payment.

Also I didn't break my nose playing baseball by getting hit in the face with a bat like he did so there's that too.