Most traditional american jobs just don’t exist anymore. No longer can I build a giant object in my yard and charge people to see it. I am not allowed to descend a waterfall in a barrel for a hefty fee. My wagon full of questionable handmade potions has been sanctioned and seized by law enforcement.

What do you mean I can't start as a janitor and work my way up to CEO in 30 years? My grandpappy said that's how you get rich. Why would he lie?

"you ain't working for capital sinner"

My stagecoach banditry, won't someone think of the stagecoach bandits?!

Have you considered religious evangelism?

Exactly! All I wanna do is sell handmade crafts from a little whicker basket as I walk down city streets! But no! I'd get fined and possibly arrested for something as wholesome as selling homemade dolls, purses and pillowcase spray! But people who sell scented oil and bleach as curealls are fine?!

The Snake Oil industry is thriving in the US. Trade your wagon for a Dr. Oz endorsement and claim it's a "supplement." Doing better than design or journalism these days

Lucky fer me I kin still sell bars a’ soap an’ some of ‘em got a prize inside ‘em. Let’s open this here one up and see — HEY! A PRIZE! This here’s a good deal! Step on up, folks! Step right on up!

The cattle rustling business ain’t what it used to be.

Even grifting is garden walled off now, it's horseshit.

What's the giant object in the yard a reference to?