is made to feel like everything's fleeting and mega temporary even if lot of the things aren't! which is dumb and bad for anyone's head!!

this is truuue 😭 my main issue almost seems that I'm not as hyped about something that I was when I was ten years younger LOL, like I'm beating myself up for reacting to games differently now when I'm older and have a ton more on my plate than back then. not to mention socmed era where everything—

as those dreams have been recurrent, some days I've struggled to realise whether they're real or not. so they just add up to the sadness and anxiety of everything which is! maddening to say the least

I want to be there and experience things with everyone but at the same time I feel very sad that I don't have it in me right now. and having had d2 with me for ten years and more(!), it makes me feel extra sad. there are also dreams I've seen about this that have made me really anxious and--

last time I played destiny was like two months ago because yet again, I just faced a wall with motivation and now I see discord blow up from all kinds of things so I'm begrudgingly updating the game— now I'm somehow both sad I'm not as hyped but also? mad at myself? For Not Being Hyped 🤠

making a big thing about a seemingly small thing is because I struggle purchasing expensive things and generally putting money into/for myself so this is actually Very Big for me

I DID IT I bought the armchair!!!!!

in my defense I have this week off! got that well deserved spring holiday week so even if I did stay up, it wouldn't be the worst thing!

I knitted the whole goddamn day and now I'm tired and wired to the exTREME it's 1.30am and I just wanna get up and continue making things!!!

there is somehow SO MUCH happening in this picture, Moon just being a menacing apparition out there, I love it