I think what offends me most about conspiracy theorists is how they get to be the intellectual equivalent of dudes who dump mattresses & old tires in the woods. They show up, make a fuckin mess, and leave. And it's up to everyone else to clean up after them. And somehow, supporters are OK with it.

This is a brilliant analogy. So much time and energy is wasted on their nonsense at the cost of so much else.

I worked with a conspiracy theorist for a time and it was so tiring talking to him

Excellent analogy

A guy can just walk in a room and say, "Aliens built the pyramids! They're beacons aimed at Alpha Centauri!" And disappointingly few people do anything other than go "Oooo!" and nod at one another, happy to consider it with zero evidence just BECAUSE it made them go "Ooo."

I read the Illuminatus! trilogy as a young’un and thought conspiracy stuff was fun, until 9/11 when I saw new conspiracy theories pop up and people getting hurt by them. Then after a little more reading I learned how many conspiracy theories start with antisemitism. It’s not fun now.

What's funny is if you've ever seen the really heavy conspiracy guys try to interact with people in real life they do the same things with the friends and families that still care about them and want to help. They're just absolute wrecks of people.

they also ignore the much more interesting story of institutional failure

I'd add car batteries and barrels of toxic chemicals to the analogy or worse it is like people dumbing truckloads of lead-paint in the drinking water

I hate that they are called Conspiracy Theorists. They are Conspiracy Hypothesists and I often use this term instead. It is a way to remind people that Theories are proven and evidence based like the theory of Relativity, not unproven pseudo science and gobbledygook.

You can also usually play a twisted version of "20 questions" with them, and see how many it takes till it veers into basic "hatred of the other" (generally, but not exclusively, antisemitism).