As I wrote this I realised I now had mixed feelings about it, it was fun to think about as a game when I was younger but now it’s all too real

Right. Writing is an escape for me, as I suppose video games are for other, except that I'm not in somebody else's world—and I control what happens. It's just that, sometimes when I write, I get to know the characters so well that I don't want to abandon them (which ending the story feels like).