making the story 3 pages long is a real sleeper joke

I'm also in love with the fact that his Twitter handle commemorates the wrestler Ravishing Rick Rude. Legend.

I would absolutely love to find out this guy has 75 followers

A hero can be anyone, even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as making up a story about a VP candidate screwing a couch to keep the world from ending.

Right?!

Personally I love the "can't say for sure" bit.

He never actually specified it was a sleeper sofa, did he?

Citation jokes get me every time.

More like a pull out sleeper joke, am I right? (I am not right)

I think my favorite detail is that the glove is inside-out for some reason.

The detail of a romance novel but with his couch.