Until a couple decades ago all your most popular cultural production came from people 25 and under but today every pop star is 36 years old

Battlestar Galactica is seriously not on any streaming service?

[Youth pastor voice] you know who else was on track for an Easter return

Crying in frustration trying to say "Irish Wish" through a mouthful of bubble gum

Now is the time on Sprockets when we eat

You don't have to go wander around Dayton talking to strangers to know what's going on in America. Just please go with the numbers.

Ohio is no longer a swing state and at some point it has to stop serving as a synecdoche for real America. Most Americans live in places that are more similar to Washington than Ohio. It's an idiosyncratic place.

"I've been working on this since January"

Well now hold the fort, are you trying to tell me these people are some kind of religious nut jobs?