"With an occasionally forceful tone and a somewhat unorthodox view of nocturnal life, Freddy Kreuger is offering American teenagers a very different, and far from restful, form of sleep."

The thought of Trump as a leader is terrifying for the US, and for the world.

They had to spend all those years practicing writing in the exonerative tense for the police just for this moment.

Next up, many people are saying the democrats want to eat your delicious white babies! We spend 25 minutes discussing why it’s impossible to know if this is true or not and which baby type Kamala Harris would probably choose if she had to plus a word from our sponsor: FightCoin, the crypto for men

Giving Americans the choice between a cartoon Nazi supervillain and a female Democrat expressing joy is somehow making Average Joe’s brain explode.

Last time I was trying to commit political retribution. Donald was still wearing diapers! #IWasADictatorInAPastLife

"At Nighttime, In A Leafy Suburb, A Hypnagogic Bloodletting"

They could have saved a lot of their word count by not tiptoeing around the word fascism

Absolutely perfect 🤭🤭🤭

But, you know, I'm unsure. I need to know more about how my day is planned. Otherwise, I might as well stay in bed and rest a few more hours.

A choice, not an echo, amirite?