Entire theses in gender studies will be written about Tom Fitton

100% the inspiration for this character

The alt text!!!!!!!!

Do yourself a favor and don't google "synthol arms", but just trust that this guy's upper body is mostly recycled cooking oil

All he needs is a corncob pipe and a sailor’s cap.

Very strong Whose Line is it Anyway vibes

Don’t take any legal advice from Stretch Armstrong.

He looks like a demon exorcised from a ventriloquist dummy

If he's not juicing, he's at least abusing t

George Washington averting his gaze from the bookshelf. Embarrassed to be seen with this schmo.