Sometimes a song can be about some cowboys. Some cowboys from hell. And that's ok.

I remember reading in some Soviet book about people going to town on vodka pre-surgery because "it doesn't leave anything in your stomach"

I pity non-Australians because they'll never get to hear an old guy at the pub call his friend a "malodorous cunt"

Making tea with hot water right out of the tap, killing my British friend instantly

Sit down, buddy

A conspiracy theory I believe is that razor companies are taking advantage of the popularity of beards to seriously reduce the quality of their product

Learning about some music theory. Apparently they've got this thing much more figured out than I thought.