I remember reading in some Soviet book about people going to town on vodka pre-surgery because "it doesn't leave anything in your stomach"

Sit down, buddy

Candles that smell like the folds between ET's skin? What a country!

Wow, this is literally me

Love to make a capital investment of like a thousand dollars on all that gear to get the absolute thrill of finding dozens of bottle caps and tent pegs

A sweatshirt in the Harvard style, but it just says HAROLD

What about a beach that makes you mald?

Stripey was the name of the cartoon cat I used to draw as a kid that was literally just Garfield

Modern day Phineas Gage except the spike was sent through my skull during a gender reveal