I'm for some reason ends up being someone's first choice to dump their problems onto me & they repeatively will tell me their same problems every time I'm in a call with them. For some reason, they wait/expect to solve their problems for them. My suggestions is for them to do things (1/2)

I want to overdose so badly... I'm already starting to lose myself & my sanity..no motivation, no future im looking forward to... waiting to get out.. i want to go missing & be forgotten.. im so tired.. of being me... of being alive...

You can get your heartbroken from friends just as bad as any relationship. My heart still hasn't healed. Its beyond damaged & I have very very little trust.. my chest still hurts & feels tight. Having a partner doesn't mean they can solve damage made by/from other people.

The amount of edibles I've taken to not think or remember what happened last year is not great either. No one has a moral code anymore..they just want to spit on people's faces..

Really bad trauma from friendships... cant socialize, i gained a genuine fear of people.. my heart has been fucked up enough..

Why do i get punished every time I show emotions or cry?.. its always like this... its like I am not allowed to feel sad or hurt if someone hurt me. Then get punished severally for it. I wish I wasnt emotional for someone with ADHD..

For awhile I thought I successfully gotten over one of my traumas... until my friend publicly told people live on Twitch of my traumatic past & information I was not comfortable or ok with sharing with strangers & mutuals.. Now I'm depress & reliving thoughts of that trauma... yaaaaay...

I am strong & I will do better. I'm not perfect, but I will learn to self improve & one day be someone worth having as a friend. Sorry how I was with my past friendships, I want self improvement so bad. I don't want to be ashamed of my mental health/disability anymore. I will be the best I can be.

Sadly Im at the point where after everything has been said and done, I am more socially detached with no energy to go out of my way to hang with anyone. As if my brain has adjusted to being without company.

please give me a reason to live