and if I'm not good at it, I don't know what to do but I see everyone who follows, especially the ones who interact with everything as people who believe that I can someday achieve something, so I can't thank them enough, I'm really grateful 😔
Hmpf, this ended up being a little longer than I thought, and maybe too personal for a internet artist, and I will probably delete this later, I don't dislike art, in fact, it's something that I probably love too much, and it's the only thing I can do,
and getting not really impressive grades, while everyone else was locked in studying, my mind was elsewhere, not really putting any real effort on this thing, and lying to everyone else that "this is what I really want to do"
by never really getting invested at something other than my own passion for art and other hobbies, I dropped some uni classes after feeling really down for wasting my classmates and teachers time by always delivering half-assed assingments, shallow presentations
like, all my friends are incredible people working out their asses to be worthy adults, while I'm stuck thinking like I'm still a teenager with time to spare on "useless" things there's this feeling that I'm not only wasting my time, but also ther people time
I'm not getting good at other small things, and this feeling is making me constantly and icreasingly frustrated A few weeks ago someone close said something in the lines that I'm wasting my time into things that will not get me a job, and this shattered any sense of self-worth that I had
etting a little bit personal here, but it just may be my mental battery getting real low lately, but more and more I feel like no matter how much time I put into something, I'm never going to be good enough, my art isn't improving, in fact, it's getting worse,
