and getting not really impressive grades, while everyone else was locked in studying, my mind was elsewhere, not really putting any real effort on this thing, and lying to everyone else that "this is what I really want to do"

Hmpf, this ended up being a little longer than I thought, and maybe too personal for a internet artist, and I will probably delete this later, I don't dislike art, in fact, it's something that I probably love too much, and it's the only thing I can do,