Advertising on MLB batting helmets is just fucking gross.

My older dog can’t take a dump without my younger dog making a beeline to welcome the newborn turd, literally nose to ass, into this world. Should I be concerned?

@MLB please stop whoring games out to @ROKU and @AppletTV, whats next MLB games on MySpace? P.S. Suck it Manfred.

Mega roll toilet paper was specifically made to handle the girth & overall size of American dooks, change my mind.

My wife’s grandfather looks eerily DB Cooper-esque 🤔 Im not one to make assumptions so ill just let the FBI make that determination.

Martin Short as Jiminy Glick is comedy gold I tells ya.

🚨 Celebrity sighting Alert 🚨 just met #chaparrochuachenegueroofucial at the Ontario airport. By met I mean glanced at him out of the corner of my eye then quickly looked away when I thought he spotted me 👀

Waiting in line at an airport Dunkin Donuts, lady if front of me took probably 5 selfies, hope she got my good side.

Drank an Icee earlier and got back freeze instead of brain freeze. That happen to anyone else or did I expose myself as a lizard person?

Watching the OC based Aquabats at the OC Fair, how OC of me.