#breka#homewrecka will always be there for breakfast the morning after 3 cocktails at the hotel bar.

Instead of “you can kiss a hundred boys in bars,” my wife says “you can kiss a hundred worms in cars,” and I think that’s beautiful.

#breka has tiramisu that is bold, rich, and satisfying, which is what the men of Vancouver hope to and fail to be. The chocolate eclairs creamed my hotel sheets and they were *good*

Yes, I am the type on vacation to loudly announce how I would scare off a bear on the woods, shiv a man with a wooden knife to give splinters for catcalling, and describe dissolving a body in a bathtub in the hotel elevator while standing in silence for 30 floors.

Someone make this a bumper sticker please. I'd buy 20 and give them to my loved ones.

Ewphoria is well established, but may I present OWphoria🤪 🤕🏳️‍⚧️

Tonight's vibe: screaming ALUMNUM NUM NUM at my spouse because I realized the gender neutral singular of alumni/a is not alumne (Spanish).

Today's realization: Prince in 1989 made Bono cum in 1995 while they were both thinking about Batman.

I just explained having a mustache to my lovely enby wife as "it's like your eyebrows are made of pubes, and you dipped them in soup, but let it dry out. Then you tried to kiss someone." This is the most trans woman informed description of a beard. How did I not know sooner?

Damn, HRT does some amazing things. Look at this gnome's full beard.