Hear me out, make it mandatory for everybody at the concert to stand from shortest to tallest

me: would you rather use stairs or an escalator him: the latter me: are you even listening to me

They’ve yassified Vance

I was only looking because I was getting train tickets, perfectly normal I swear

Holy hell, Waitrose have already released their Christmas delivery slots, and Christmas Eve is already fully booked (in Hull, at least)

Reading sub stacks though. Got to keep on brand

I’ve gone undercover with Gen Z (I’m at a Chappell Roan concert in Brixton)

Have already have to block some stupid bot account oh my god don’t like my replies you weirdo I’m not going to buy what you’re shilling

Nearly in the 1% innit

Christopher Wren absolutely off his tits on churches. Man needed an intervention. "Chris mate don't you think you've had enough?" his friends cry. I CAN STOP ANYTIME!!! he yells. Three more churches fall out of his pocket.