sorry i'm stuck on "alternatively on each side of the bed on simultaneous days to keep the sheets warm." what does that mean

For me it was the whole having someone "kiss your burning eyes" when you are sick. Did an AI write this? An alien? It certainly wasn't written by a human

this is someone who is trying to convince themselves that they are happily married and they don't really hate their spouse, that they don't dream of a life lived alone. bless their heart

This is like an alien who's only seen sitcoms trying to parse real human behavior

Only a literal conjoined twin would have a legit reason for writing this.

I’ve lived alone with other people, and in a group in my own, and linguistically neither beats living alone on my own

Simultaneous days occur only in parallel universes

I remember all of my parents nightcaps together and weep for me solitude

It’s the anthropomorphic dental products that get me.

If they've figured out how to simultaneous days that's a big productivity unlock