antidepressants should have cute lil notes on them like candy hearts

vampires that feed on Mountain Dew instead of blood

very little tension here on bluesky. basically smooth sailing ever since the Blood Wars

man in the moon? no teddy bear in the moon? ..maybe

It’s been some time coming but now I’m reduced to this: super extra nuts.

Not everyone is meant to eat dairy, is what I say after shitting my pants.

What’s this about Laura Palmer having a huge wang?

Was looking online at houses in Scotland but forgot to limit cookies (biscuits) and now I’m a Grade II listed area of outstanding beauty, I think, I really can’t understand them.

Signed up for the wrong psychic class and now I give predilections.

The only thing standing between me and a return to vegetarianism is this roast beef sandwich.