And the thing is, even if I were to quit, give up, pack it in, I don't know what I would do. I'm disabled and can't work, and I don't want to just spend all my hours mindlessly playing the same games and jerking off. I need something to do, to fill my hours, and this is it. So I keep going

But god damn it's becoming harder and harder to actually stream. It's becoming harder and harder to motivate myself to record new episodes that I know not a single person will actually watch. Lately I've come so so close missing episodes and I don't know that I even really care anymore