and it kind of means I'm coming through the world with a cohort that grew up with that and also experienced it as totally normal and even GOOD, like "by being really mean to you, I'm helping you be healthy!" it was significantly less bad in eg the 50s than the 90s.

there was eg Billy Bunter who kids at school used to make my dad's life a misery (hi, yeah, tendency to carry extra body fat is genetic) but that was just "haha you look weird" and not cod-psych gaslighting "how can you not LOVE YOURSELF enough to fix this?" bullshit