Have you got the same IQ as a wild canine dog? Then you’re an alpha male, congratulations.

Nice little walk this evening, not be as many when winter comes.

Just give up on dating folks. Instead, drive around country roads looking for overturned cars in ditches, pull out 1 survivor from the wreckage & take them home pretending you’re nursing them better. They’re bound to fall in 🥰with you but keep a sledgehammer handy just in case they’re not feeling it

Aw, hell, I've gone and did it again. Went out to buy some milk and came right back home with it when I was supposed to have abandoned my family. What am I like, I’m such a scatterbrain.

The earth spins at around half a kilometre a second, which is how I always feel dizzy when I come out of the pub.

The Queer Starmer stuff is disturbing. Could go after him for being in the pockets of the worst lobbyists/donors, his kowtowing to Murdoch or his austerity cuts on kids/OAPs/Disabled. No need for the puerile stuff the right wing are coming at him with.

"I want to be your protector... "

I tell you want I want, what I really really want, I wanna, I wanna see an end to corporate lobbying/corporate donors in politics, politicians having secondary jobs and everything to do with political decision making open and recorded for public scrutiny.

I don’t know guys, a total eclipse of the heart sounds quite serious, I think we might need to check Ms Tyler isn’t lying behind the door. Dial 999, have the best cardiac surgeons on stand by, pray she gets better and bonnie again.