Going to start pronouncing "cheese" like "Hermann Hesse," just to piss off myself & my loved ones.
Oh shit you guys! Cookies happened again! That's a good sign, it means October is going to kick ass. Happy spooks to you all & to all a good fright.
I don't gamble, and I usually don't hang out in casinos, but I did just use an airport bidet, with instructions printed in a language I cannot read. So I definitely like living on some kind of edge. I made a sound like a goblin who'd just found a gold dibloon. "Ge HE he he ge HE he he."
If you guys want a great harmless prank, send your headshot to a venue, then get a haircut before the show. Sometimes they'll paint awesome pictures for the backdrop, and you'll look like you're trying to fake your own death.
Amazon deliveries. Customer notes: "DO NOT LEAVE PACKAGES ANYWHERE" So it's just mine now?
When I leave the house for one library book, why the fuck do I always come back with 6? Cause my life rules.
You're all missing the important part with this Oasis reunion. Now they can do soundtrack work again. Guy Ritchie can finally finish "Snatch 2: TOMMY'S REVENGE."
Amazon Delivery Driver: PRO: Very nice houses that leave treats outside for us. CON: Giant Fuck-Off bees who are attracted by the outside treats. Someone has RING footage of me swinging my arms and yelling "FUCK OFF" as I run and dive for my car.