What's great about being over 35 is that when you wake up in the morning with severe back and shoulder pain, you don't have to worry that you pulled a muscle or anything serious, it's just that you existed, and maybe slept on your shoulder

Learning to accept that your body just doesn't give a fuck anymore and will go wrong whenever is almost freeing. Shit happens, accept that you hurt and find some liniment or aspirin and work it out. Most importantly: accept the new limitations.

There's a really, really annoying thing where you exercise regularly and it has the nerve to fuckin' help with some of this shit. And then you* stop and get to blame yourself for half this shit. *me

62 and slowly descending the stairs in the morning muttering through clenched teeth “I was a soldier once, and young”.

OR you in fact hurt yourself to the point where your clavicle randomly pops out and didn’t notice it for several weeks FUN

Ah, aging. Such a dubious privilege. But a real privilege, nonetheless.

Forty is when you really go off-warranty.

Get some work gloves on & steel toed boots & come lift with me. I carry 200 cinder blocks from one side of my backyard to the other & stack them up on a plastic pallet. You’ll not only live longer, you’ll be sorer than shit, even your fingers will be killing you. And those muscle spasms, a real joy.

Found out I had arthritis at the ripe age of 18. Same difference! :)

Wait until you hit 67: it’s even greater-er 😬 Pilates is part of the answer: I can combat-stretch for up to 20 seconds…

This is totally unsolicited advice, but you might need a new mattress