“Specifically Virginia Dogwood” you whisper.

Of his USB-A orifice, I mean. Though I suppose I can’t fully understand his shame vis-a-vis his negative interactions with my butt.

Now I regret using the word ‘fondle’ in that sentence. It feels like a hat on a hat. Come to think of it, I have never written the word ‘fondle’ and been proud of the sentence.

Poll: Which of the original puppets could you read by under black-light?

That is either an impenetrable joke or a fantastic troll. Bravo, Ben.

It’s a look that screams: “Wanna go back to my F150 and fondle my flags?”

Do you think the invention of social media has reduced the amount of scribbling in bathrooms?

Italian? Lithuanian? The one that sounds like Klingon.

If you see the owl that stole my tootsypop, I have a question for him.

The trees were a bad move. We should have stayed in the oceans.