And now for the traditional July 4th blessing: Happy Independence Day, may you end the day with as many fingers as you began it with.

Actually not just fingers. Check all your parts. Or, I don’t know let a trained professional do the job with all the safety protocols in place.

Go for the gusto, end up with more fingers.

And also don't cause any trauma to dogs or veterans.And also don't cause any trauma to dogs or veterans.

(possibly more if ai)

Leave the fireworks to the old drunk adults. They've had a lot of use out of theirs.. you should keep yours as long too. It's only fair!

And may the fingers you have at the end of the day be still attached and functional.

(and eyes)