• Having shared interests - What it says on the tin • Balanced relationships - To not have to put in all the work of planning, messaging, supporting, etc. That it's a mutual relationship (3/3)

• Showing up - To be there in big and small ways, whether that's checking in or major mutual aid • Accepting special interests - Even if they aren't as interested as we are in our special interests or hyperfixations, listening (and sharing their own) is nice (2/3)

Yesterday, I asked what ADHD/autistic folks expect from friendships. Here are some of the common themes: • Authenticity - To not have to mask constantly with friends and to be ourselves • Non-judgmental - To not feel judged for our differences or our needs (1/3)

Purely a me question here: How do you make the determination that it's unbalanced? I find that I can't (or don't is probably more accurate) trust my judgment around such things

If you're ADHD and/or autistic, I have a question for you. What does friendship mean to you? Like what do you expect friends to do to show they're your friend?

One damaging aspect of the double empathy problem is how people often offer well-intentioned reassurances when our brain-related struggles are purely hypothetical, but when they are real and right in front of them, they quickly become a dealbreaker. It's fucking traumatic

Sensory overwhelm, processing demands, and stress can all lead to autistic meltdowns and shutdowns, but so can big emotions. Normalizing big emotions, feeling safe to experience them, and having many options for navigate them won't eliminate meltdowns, but can reduce the frequency and severity

The autistic experience of googling a list of small talk topics so that you can practice the 'correct way' of interacting ahead of time

A lot of ADHD'ers have been told over and over that we just need to try harder. For some of us, this leads us to try way too hard and take on responsibilities that aren't ours to take on. These can include feeling the need to manage other people's emotions or solve other people's problems

So you live in an ADHD household? Which one of you leaves all the cabinet doors open behind them, and which of you assumes the righteous responsibility of closing them again, such that order is restored to the universe?