“No. They are not returnable under any circumstances.” He hangs up. The cashier says “He kept saying green cards!” We have been checked out for some minutes now but had to see how it ended.

Oh my GOD

So that was me trying to buy lip balm today.

New part of the country, WHOLE NEW WEIRDNESS VORTEX!

So your fascinating yet bizarre narrative attractor still works in NM, is what I'm seeing.