do men with mexican grandfathers feel the same amount of pride in local tex-mex restaurants that my father feels for any bar and grill that leaves st paddy’s decorations up all year?

on a long enough timeline, given enough idiot demons, i think i could actually make all the money. all the money ever

if a demon decided to live in my body, i bet i could charge it so much money just to let it leave.

this weekend i learned from spooky movies that when you astral project, you leave your body completely vulnerable to demons just jumping inside and living there rent-free

yes. on a massive scale. no opt-out, just get everyone in a line so we can compare the other, hideous bones to my perfect ones and create a visual pecking order.

okay we’ll get some options in front of you right away

home office wants to know if we can repurpose old tweets for the September post, i need you to let me know as soon as possible

absolutely devastated to realize i could objectively have the most beautiful skull and skeleton - like the winner of the genetic lottery with bones - and there is currently no way to 1. know this 2. lord it over former classmates 3. monetize it on tiktok with endless posts celebrating my sexy bones

we’ve had social media for days - even weeks now - and i feel like no one ever just asks neil gaiman how his day was

gonna get my slice of that silicon valley pie once those rich cowards finally decide someone has to teach ai how to anxiety and regret