Being trans has honestly been just a series of trauma, isolation, bad experiences, failure to connect to any of my peers or anyone for that matter. I would be dead without transition but what I'm living right now doesn't feel anything worth living for, patiently waiting for when it'll be too much.

I wish I could relate to all the trans joy, but as time keeps marching on I can't but feel like I just failed my transition and that I'll never be happy in any way. I have never ever wanted to die than now and the future is getting more and more uncertain...