Today I convinced my toddler to eat her French toast breakfast by referring to it as “waffle toast” and I feel like that merits some kind of reward.

I’ll admit that I’m not incredibly well-versed in Saw lore, but I feel like I should have learned before TODAY that Billy the Puppet has those cute sparkly red shoes.

I know I’m almost 4 years late to the party, but if anybody needs some sourdough starter made with wild yeast from blueberries, hit me up. It has taken off like crazy and I’m about to fridge it to slow down the growth 😂

Our substitute baking instructor for the week “doesn’t like vaccines” 👍🙃👍

Lovely night out with my beloved. Toddler is spending the night with her grandparents. Can’t wait to get home to, you know… 😜 Take some Tylenol Eat three pieces of pizza Go to bed before 11pm because my body is fucking broken 😜

Me, berating other drivers, with precisely two functional brain cells: “What is this? Turning signal… negligence… day??”

Losing my mind over this Sesame Street “True Blood” parody called “True Mud”

My food safety obsession has reached new levels. I refuse to say if they’re highs or lows, though.

Found my X-mas gift for @brunchsohard.bsky.social

A haunted house but it’s avoiding people you knew in high school while at the mall