i got to pet a baby kangaroo and a bactrian camel gently chomped my entire wrist after i offered him my hand when he came over to me, gonna be a good day

tonight at my bar i watched a woman old enough to be my mother STICK HER FINGER ::IN:: THE SLUSHY MACHINE to get "just a little taste" then lie directly to the shift manager's face about having done so madam i pray your largest fuck?! where did you ACQUIRE this audacity?!

wtf i just asked one of the canning line operators to help me with a ladder real quick and he did a double take because i pronounced his name correctly on the first go IT'S NOT EVEN HARD OR ANYTHING 😭 poor guy, basic fucking orthography

tummy hort :(

space is neat

i don't care how strong my glasses get or how bifocal tiny font + no glasses IS THE WAY

an absolute lad, featuring his favorite of my socks and my daily sunscreen in soft focus because he's an asshole

this must be what it felt to first hear about the destruction of the library at alexandria

on the one hand, not having a full-length mirror in the house has been good for me, but on the other it would be nice to get a good fit check before venturing out the door

ok i need to get some shit done today, can anyone help me be accountable please 👁️👄👁️