I mention this because someone has put the idea that children do better the less they leave their parents into my mentions. I hiss at this idea. It is awful. Banish it like the plague.
I hope I didn't come across as too aggressive in challenging them, they made me twitchy, which is a signal to step back and think rather than leap in, but it's late here and I didn't.
It is, in fact, good for children to learn that their parents are individuals with their own needs that should be respected!
My kids basically spent very little time without us from age 2 to age 5 because of the pandemic. And that was Really Not Good for them. Kids need to be around other kids and not just their parents. (Which I knew then, too, but my immune system is fucked)
Kids need to learn how to navigate the world on their own, they need to learn how to have relationships with people who aren't their parents -- what the heck?
The people advancing this theory haven't spent extended periods of time with children. There's a reason why our parents told us to go outside and play.
My impression from what I’ve read (which could be out of date now I suppose?*) is that the more adults kids have in their lives able to give them attention and care the better. The whole “takes a village” thing. *still newer than attachment theory though.
And it's better for the child to do things without a parent "helping" every step of the way. Every child has to become a functioning adult and they don't do it automatically when they become 18. They need practice.
I think there’s research suggesting that children who are in childcare 35 hours a week or less do better. (I forget the exact number.) The outcomes are probably more related to the socioeconomic status (less stress) of families who don’t need 50+ hours of childcare a week.