Killed in a big naturals disaster

I’m just several emojis and a bottle of maple flavored lube in a trench coat.

*passes a meatball into your mouth while kissing

Has science answered the question of why loose bag fries are more satisfying than the ones that stay in the container?

Not nearly enough songs about taking care of business, imo.

Just lay down in this chalk outline. You’ll be fine.

Bro are you on creatine because you are lifting my spirits rn

me: would you rather use stairs or an escalator him: the latter me: are you even listening to me

One thing they don’t prepare you for in husband/dad school is how often you will be putting air in people’s tires

Excuse me ma’am please step back this is a private charcuterie board