Mocktails are fun because it's like when else would you get the chance to pay thirteen dollars for Snapple?

like its not equally absurd to pay 13$ for a cocktail that tastes like snapple but worse

Read the first word as “Molotovs” and was incredibly confused by the end

Way too many "mocktails" are sweet, because alcohol is a shortcut to complex, big flavors and rather than try to replicate that bartenders will default to the easiest big flavor: sugar. There are subtle, complicated mocktails -- and more and more of them -- but you have to look for them.

Disney World?

and the mocktail doesn’t even come with a cap with a pithy bon mot

Related: I tried non-alcoholic gin for science and it tastes like antifreeze (derogatory). Now I stick to plain tonic when I want a G&T without the buzz and it's . . . acceptable

And I still pay for those 7oz of Snapple 🥲

Just have a cup of tea for £2.50

The airport, josh

I appreciate non-alcoholic options being available but so many times I've wished I opted for a basic soda instead