Been doing that work already with a therapist for a while actually. Set it up myself over a year ago when I started struggling. I thought I was learning how to communicate better and be more positive and asking for more of my needs to be met/not overgiving. But I feel like I am going backwards now

Learning new stuff no-one goes in a straight line. We all oscillatate / resort to our basic programming. You can take the lion out of the jungle but not the jungle out of the lion. If this is your fallback, realise it for what it is and accept it. It's not faiiling, it's survival to some part of you