NORMALIZE BELLOWING "MY WEIGHT IS APPROPRIATE AND ATTRACTIVE" AT OFFICIOUS INTERMEDDLERS.
WENT TO A STATE PARK TODAY TO REMIND CAMPERS THAT THEY'RE MORE SCARED OF ME THAN I AM OF THEM.
IF I EVER DIE, LOOK AT MY BROWSER HISTORY. LOOK AT IT! I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW.
ME AND MY GOOD FRIEND BENJAMIN FRANKLIN ARE GONNA ABUSE THE HELL OUT OF OUR DOLLARITA PRIVILEGES.
I AM AN AWFUL LANDLORD TO THE SQUATTERS WHO DON'T WANT TO PAY RENT FOR MY HEADSPACE.
SOMETIMES I FORGET SOMEONE'S NAME, BUT THEN I REMEMBER A VIDEO OF A CROCODILE DEATH ROLLING A GAZELLE OR WHATEVER AND I NO LONGER CARE ABOUT THE PROPER NOUNS I LOST ALONG THE WAY.
SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST MONTH, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE CUPS OF J.D. VANCE JIZZ. *SIGH* ALMOST.
WHENEVER A GUY TRIES TO TELL YOU HOW SMART HE IS, IT'S NEVER WRONG TO RESPOND "OH, LIKE KE$HA?"
IN MY DEFENSE, "GIRL DINNER" IS AMBIGUOUS.