for him in the first place. idc if he sees this because we have no animosity towards each other but i think im just shocked that i would suppress these emotions for so long that id let it eat me alive for 6 fucking months. 😭 i think the time passage apart from him is what made me realize. i made a

huge fucking mistake (not cheating i just prematurely pushed him away in order to protect myself from his sense of humor) and by doing this i not only hurt him but myself. im just rambling bc i dont have any friends 😅 and the two that know know that i sound like a broken fuckin record atp