im feeling inexplicably sad and lonely again, yay ): bottled up feelings of frustration about everything that went sour over the past while, i suppose.. wanting to talk about it, but not being able to, wanting to blog about it, but being too scared to, thoughts barely being coherent, bweh

it's amazing though to see my abusers be credited on Big Gaming Credits though while I'm not even mentioned as "special thanks" or anything, even though the product that the team they're on is shipping is like 80%+ *my work* and *my tenacity* and I can't even ask about that either because Yeah