I haven’t found any of her apologies convincing or meaningful, but I don’t want her to try and make any more to me. I’ve thought about her as much as I ever want to, and she and everyone else will just have to deal with that as they choose

As far as extreme kink goes, I have a pretty vivid memory of lying face down on her bedroom floor, crying harder than I ever have in my life into her carpet, and her doorbell ringing, and I remember thinking it must be the police because of how much I had been screaming, and feeling resigned