[Trying to be relatable] Uh I'm smoking on that shit that gave Goku heart problems
GOOD NIGHT SCRAMBLES SLEEP TIGHT ILY
every sex with me is a struggle session (i am constantly self-criticising)
You finish your jigsaw puzzle to find that it forms a picture of me eating your Oreos. You go to your pantry, and sure enough, there I am snackin
Incapable of finding loose paper in my car without thinking it’s a treasure map I previously missed.
i need a man that cares about the environment but also uses that one really strong detergent that smells so amazing
My body is a temple and this shit is flooded man it's like 70% water
merry poster's christmas guys
Heart racing, I run, the slapping of webbed feet just behind me. I stumble twice, but reach the car and slam the door, howling in triumph. Turning the key, I’m greeted with a dry clicking sound. The blood freezes in my veins. From outside the window, I hear a dark, throaty laugh.
