i correct autocorrect more than autocorrect corrects me

i hope this email pees on you.

adding "can burp discreetly in the middle of ringing up a customer" to the top of my resume

procrastinating by coming up with next month’s scribblehub site-wide top-ten hit

i hate hotel wifi

thankfully im actively trying to diminish my vocabulary at all times

It's everyone's favorite Halloween character, Pansexual Skeleton

death will be the death of me

An event or accumulated events will be the death of me.