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dustin Couch
@dustinkcouch.bsky.social
3.1k followers64 following15 posts
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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

friendly reminder

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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

Alt text for images 2 and 3

Screenshot of twitter TL: im ready (spongebob avi): (quote tweet of Bluey thread from screenshot 1) lol...i could say something...but ok bikini bottoms (spongebob avi): (reply to im ready) bluey fans need to learn how to shut the fuck up lmao ms sonic: gonna listen to taylor swift for the first time tonight! any tips?? court: (reply to ms sonic) NO BUT I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU _ dare2dos: (quote tweet of picture of lake from screenshot 1) spongebob got him xxdarkzeldaxx: (reply to dare2dos) wait is that what that picture is supposed to mean bc it scared me (cry emoji) dare2dos: (reply to xxdarkzeldaxx) idk im just postin _ ~ jakey ~: the way having adhd is such a superpower like what do you mean i can drink some paint and be fine (picture of Jimmy Neutron looking confused) (Community Note: You cannot drink some paint and be fine)
Last 3 posts on image 2: Josh (spongebob avi): good (Quote Tweet of CNN article that says: Small town in shambles after local Bluey fan sets record for Most Missing Boy Ever "This is unironically SO scary" says Sheriff Tap (18) "What if I'm next?") dry sponge (spongebob avi): (reply to Josh) this had to be us Imao honestly i can feel something major shifting within the sb fandom ____ grudge holder: i don't think that's where those are supposed to go (quote tweet of Dexerto article saying: X (Formerly Twitter) found dumping servers into a lake in Clareton, Oklahoma)
Screenshot of TL: servsup: milkshakes lowkey taste better microwaved _ ms sonic: lets goooo (picture of a Taylor Swift Album called Sounds Of Halloween. A 60 minute song called Evil Ghoul Laugh + Thunder Sounds is playing) court: (reply to ms sonic) you're in for the night of your life. seriously _ ranger danger: ok i looked up the lake that twitter's been dumping their servers into and ??? (picture of a wikipedia article that reads: In 2004, locals claimed to see Matthew Towers, the local dentist, roaming around the town at night on stilts and crawling into the second story windows of residents' houses. [71] On June 7th, 2004 at 11:24 PM, Towers was chased by an angry mob through the town before falling into the lake and drowning, still wearing his stilts. His body was never recovered.[72] To this day, the children of Clareton claim to be visited by a "Very, very tall dentist" in their dreams if they forget to brush their teeth before bed. [73])
~jAkey~: guess i shook the hivemind with this one Imfao (quote tweet of the "adhd is a superpower" post from screenshot 2) BOAT: (reply to jakey) dw no one's mad at you lol :) they just think you are so stupid ~jAkey~: (reply to BOAT) You trumpet that you are not mad, yet you revert to utilizing such childish insults to belittle my intelligence? Perhaps a look in the mirror may be of use to you? Ah, but I digress to ponder further as it may...wound the pride that is clearly so important to you. ~jAkey~: (reply to self) I am at the dentist's. (picture of lake from earlier, except now an unidentifiable object is rising from it)
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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

cool day over at twitter

Screenshot of a thread on Twitter from someone named "Trey - Birthday in 2 days!" with a Bluey avi. Every post has larger ratio of quote tweets and replies than likes. The thread has 7 posts. Post 1: im sorry but if you think spongebob is funny you have an annoying sense of humor Post 2: "omg a hit tweet" lol didn't expect what was easily my dumbest tweet to go off but ok Post 3: guess i hit a nerve (shrug emoji) spongebob dick riders out in full force tonight ig Post 4: ok y'all are getting boring so i'm muting this thread now have fun talking amongst yourselves (peace sign emoji) Post 5: btw this is why nobody gives a fuck about the sb fandom anymore. toxic bullshit like this is why i left in the first place Post 6: also hey hi hello its me again just want to say if you're sending me death threats because you don't understand satire: my little cousin knows how to doxx. do not fuck with me Post 7: I am at the dentist's. (picture of a lake is attached)
Alt text for Images 2 and 3 will be in the replies because they exceed the character limit.
Alt text for Images 2 and 3 will be in the replies because they exceed the character limit.
Screenshot of Twitter TL: servsup: (quote tweet of "milkshakes lowkey taste better microwaved") BAHAHA of course the incels found my post (cry laugh emoji) enjoy your brainfreeze i guess (shrug emoji + crylaugh emoji) ranger danger: (reply to servsup) you need to leave your house immediately. set your milkshake down gently so you don't burn yourself and leave right now. you might be in danger servsup: (reply to ranger danger) shut the fuck up (two crylaugh emojis) servsup: (reply to self) I am at the dentist's. (picture of lake from screenshot 1 and 3, but now a giant hand is rising out of it) __ pics of vegeta: PSA: STOP FEEDING HIM. BE NICE TO EACH OTHER. DO NOT AGITATE ANY FANBASES. KEEP YOUR TAKES COLD AND YOUR INTERACTIONS PLEASANT OR YOU WILL SUMMON THE VERY, VERY TALL DENTIST. DO NOT DO THAT ____ ms sonic: i liked some of her songs but i don't really think taylor swift's music is for me personally :/ (this post has a huge ratio of 807M quote tweets)
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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

i think twitter might be dying

A Screenshot of a headline from CNN on Twitter/X that reads: "Almost one million people went missing last night" along with a screenshot of a creepy forest. The replies are from a bunch of blue check accounts and read: Darren Rogerrs: Good Stuff Fighter Jet: Two puzzled Emojis Danny1983: Joe Biden Saved By HIM: What a crazy world we live in Stoic van: Almost a million people gone missing wow they must be doing a magicians disapperance (cry laugh emoji) Dave: eyes looking left emoji Matt: Hello On my own...: Ii need assistance. i am at 207 N Oakwood ST, Madisonville AZ rockoXVI: What a crazy world we live in
Screenshot of X timeline: blue thumb: does anyone think this app has gotten strange lately its over (reply): what do you mean Pizza Huts: hey it's pizza huts (pizza emoji) reply with where you are right now picture of dogs: hollywood is going downhill i swear... (quote tweet of Discussing Film: Disney considering making another Marvel movie or perhaps a Star Wars. For more updates meet me at 207 N Oakwood ST, Madisonville AZ) Growers Groceries: We're throwing a christmas party and YOU'RE INVITED SHOUT your address in the replies if you want in on this (christmas tree emoji) (attached to the tweet is an image of a christmas invitation that reads: "HO HO HO!!! Ready for some holiday fun? Games! Prizes! A Dr. Pepper. We'll even pick you up in a LIMO! 207 N Oakwood ST, Madisonville AZ") samara (reply): what in the kidnapping scam is this post super paint sonic (reply): 3522 SOUTH LANE SLOCUM, IL 60056 UNIT 68
Screenshot of X: grudge holder: i just looked up how many blue checks there are and lmao (Image: "At least 891,693 users currently suscribe to X premium according to the data") (quoted tweet from NBC: "Experts estimate a total of 891,963 people have been reported missing in the last 24 hours") it's over (reply): but they're all still posting so much idk they seem fine grudge holder (reply): do they? Blue check account (reply): What a crazy world we live in bee meeter: you should not give your address out to an account that has existed for one day in my opinion (quote tweet from super paint sonic giving out his address to Grower's Groceries, who joined in December 2023) super paint sonic: i was worried about that too so i checked dw it's legit lol (image of DM between sps and growers groceries) Growing Games: we're giving out FREE Playstation 5s today. come on down to our store at 207 N Oakwood ST, Madisonville AZ (image of a 3DS on ground) Luigi 64 (reply): pick that up
Screenshot of X timeline: grudge holder: those shady ads that keep coming up all belong to a company called Growing Graveyard. guess what else belongs to them now (image that says: "Growing Graveyard is an American provider of funeral services as well as cemetery property. It's founder, The Long Legged Mortician has stated that the goal of the company was to "Grow the biggest graveyard of all time" He had himself buried alive in the Growing Graves Cemetery to "Add to the numbers" Headquarters: 207 N Oakwood St, Madisonville AZ Founder: The Long Legged Mortician (???-2023) Subsidiaries: Growers Groceries, Growing Games, Pizza Huts, X") quest psx (reply): have we been sold again super paint sonic: the limo has arrived (sunglasses emoji) (image of hearse) bear and bird (reply): That is a hearse (heart emoji)
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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

it's that time of year again

Screenshot of a Tweet from @Twitter on 9/22/2022 and its replies. Twitter: Ready for halloween? (ghost emoji) (jack o lantern emoji) (skull emoji) So are we! That's why we're excited to introduce you to @TheBigWitch You'll be seeing a lot of her throughout the spooky season! But beware, she's out to give you a scare! Replies: The Big Witch: BOO! I'm The Big Witch! I'm flying around on my broomstick causing trouble! (broom emoji) (witch emoji) save game (response to The Big Witch): this seems like it's going to get old fast The Big Witch (response to save game): I'll place you in my cauldrom! I'm The Big- (The screenshot cuts off here) (The Big Witch's username and handle are both Orange)
(Screenshot of Twitter Timeline) water tunic: the way virgos freeze up when you ask to see their phone... The Big Witch (reply): I eat frog legs for breakfast and toadwarts for lunch! water tunic (reply): quiet _ real pokemon: my life has gotten so much better ever since i chose peace and love over hate and negativity The Big Witch (reply): I choose dark magic and trickery! The Big Witch strikes again! real pokemon (reply): shut the fuck up _ bark simpson: not really comfortable with the fact that the big witch account is just a walking stereotype of witches The Big Witch (reply): You'll make a fine ingredient in my stew! Oh how I love black cats and pointy hats! bark simpson (reply): see like all of this is just a lot _ pictures of good dogs: (mirror selfie of a fit person) if you don't fuck with me i don't fuck with you. simple as that The Big Witch (reply): Oooo I'm melting I'm melting! big goku (reply): ma'am
(Screenshot of Twitter Timeline) sonic avi: i hate how i say "i'm fine" when i'm actually so sad all the time. i can't keep lying to everyone The Big Witch (reply): I'll put a nasty spell on you! I'm The Big Witch! sonic avi (reply): hey i say a lot of things i don't mean when i'm upset and i'm in a very bad place right now but i want you to know i mean this with all my heart: nobody here likes you. nobody wants you around. i hope the person running this account dies (orange text) TAKEN BY THE BIG WITCH airplanehater (reply): oh shit _ McDonalds: come try our new halloween fries! only $1.99 TAKEN BY THE BIG WITCH pumpkin (reply): (image of an empty parking lot where a mcdonalds should be) PUT IT BACK _ trash: EVERYONE REPORT THE BIG WITCH SHES-TAKEN BY THE BIG WITCH _ beck: how come everyone's tweets say "taken by the big witch" like are y'all in a relationship with her or something TAKEN BY THE BIG WITCH _ Will: (image of big witch outside of window) WHY WOULD GOD MAKE THIS
(Screenshot of Tweet from @twitter) Twitter: Hey everyone, We apologize for the inconveniences caused by The Big Witch. We did not realize she could take people and we will be deactivating the account. In the meantime, we will be launching an investigation to find out what happened to the (giant green text) TAKEN BY THE BIGGER WITCH
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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

i hate using new apps

A green login screen for an App called "Deffun" At the top is the word "Deffun" which is above a generic looking app symbol (purple and blue circle) Below the symbol is a tagline that says "Talk to the world" Below the tagline are Sign Up and Login buttons Below the buttons is small text that says Terms of Service - Privacy Policy - Cookie Policy - Ads Info - More - ©Deffun 2004
An app that looks like a green Twitter/Threads/Bsky. Next to the reply, share and heart buttons is an odd cylindrical symbol new sonic: what does that fourth thing do f9 for mage: man (attached to the post is a headline that says "Twitter headquarters on fire for 18 days in a row") ben: what's your favorite memory of twitter jon (replying to ben): never used it star mario got (replying to ben): one time i posted a picture of my face and a garfield parody account replied that he no longer believed in God new sonic: what does that fourth thing do (the cylindrical symbol is red and rising on new sonic's post) 1st gen pokemon: deffun was created before twitter?? (attached to the post is the first image, zoomed in on the 2004) new sonic: i hate starting over on a new app. its like the first day at a new job where you don't know anyone or what that fourth thing does. what the fuck does it do (the odd symbol is rising to the point of touching the text)
another screenshot of posts on Deffun new sonic: WHAT DOES IT DO (the odd symbol is now growing out of the screen and looping back down, touching new sonic's avi) 1st gen pokemon: oh shit (attached to the post is an image of the wikipedia article for Deffun. It says "Deffun was created in 2004 by Dr. Nick Staler in an effort to perform an online ritual to summon an entity known as The Lengthy Surgeon Users who signed up for Deffun unknowingly agreed to give up a portion of their souls to aid in the summoning. They were also entered into a lottery, in which the winner would be used as a vessel for The Lengthy Surgeon The website was shut down after Staler was unable to hit the required goal of 100,000 users" severed bot: wait the site needed 100,000 users? how many does it have now? 1st gen pokemon: 987,835,245 severed bot: ok new sonic has an unreadable post as it is completely covered in the odd symbol.
More posts on Deffun Fox News: BREAKING: BIG OLE SURGEON CRAWLS OUT OF DEFFUN USER'S MOUTH (attached to the post is a headline that says "FIND A RELIGION AND PRAY TO A GOD BECAUSE IT IS NOT LOOKING GREAT") jon: OH GOD IT CONSUMES. OH HOW IT CONSUMES. THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY GET ANY WORSE NBC News: Elon Musk offers to buy Deffun for $45 Billion (attached to the post is a headline that says "Elon Musk: 'I'm gonna charge for vowels')
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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

Does the photo viewer work for any of you when reading the longer screenshots? For me it cuts off at the bottom and dims when I scroll up. I guess you could save the images before looking at them as a work around or give me sys admin privileges for a sec and let me take a swing at it (no experience)

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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

that last tweet barely works it's like saying you ship Super Saiyan Goku with Ultra Instinct Goku. do better

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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

i hate hotel wifi

A sign that says "DO NOT USE HOTEL WI-FI (For the password, contact Rebecca At The Front Desk)"
At the top of the image is a notification that says "Successfully connected - Rebecca At The Front Desk Is Now Crawling Toward You" with a clickable option to "Pray To God" 8 Tweets below the notification. one piece avi: "NOOOO WHY WOULD YOU CONNECT TO THE WIFI" incredibly deceased: "lol aw man it's always a bummer to watch someone learn that Crawlin Rebecca is after them" gravey: "me when another guest ignores the sign" Attached to the tweet is a gif of spongebob watching tv and eating popcorn didn't die just missing: "BRO LEAVE" sonic's dead friend (response to didn't die just missing): "i don't think this advice has worked for anyone ever" link drowned: "what was your last memory before crawlin rebecca got you" incredibly deceased: "praying for god to send me to hell so i would be safe and far away from rebecca surf bot: "calling the police to tell them i love them" sonic's dead friend: "screamin"
5 Reddit Posts Post 1 (Best Buy Ad): You will not escape Rebecca. PS5s are only $599 at Best Buy! Post 2: 5 Things To Do If Crawlin Rebecca Is After You (Next to the post is a Thumbnail of video that says "#3 I DON'T KNOW") Post 3: Jimmy Fallon on Crawlin Rebecca: "Please don't hurt me." Post 4: Am I in Hell? (in the NoStupidQuestions subreddit) Post 5: Dustin, I know you're reading this. Find the router and destroy it. It's the only way to stop her. Below the post is a notification that says "Rebecca At The Front Desk is no longer crawling toward you!"
3 tweets and a notification. long gone devin: "RIP" beck: "WHY WOULD HE DESTROY THE ROUTER" A large notification is in the middle of the picture that says "REBECCA AT THE FRONT DESK IS NOW SPRINTING TOWARD YOU" with a picture of a blurry figure sprinting toward the camera and a clickable option that says "GOD IS HIDING" sonic's dead friend: "if you support Crawlin Rebecca x Sprintin Rebecca ships, block me and then set your house aflame"
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DCdustinkcouch.bsky.social

screenshot time baby

Screenshot of 4 tweets on twitter. The first is of the FBI's official twitter account tweeting "READ AND SHARE" along with an image that says "WARNING: DO NOT LOOK AT THE INTERNET BETWEEN 12:01 AM AND 1:01 AM TONIGHT -Unplug every monitor in your household - Turn off your phone and leave it face down in an unoccupied room - Lock your doors" A user named "sonic daddy (single era)" responds with a tweet that says "wait what happens when I look at the internet" The FBI responds by saying "You will know suffering intimately, Sonic Daddy" sonic daddy responds "hm (thinking emoji) i'll think about it"
Screenshot of 8 tweets on twitter, all of which are red. Sad Kirby: "ew make it blue again" Joe Biden: "red :)" i love the dang beach: "why is nobody talking about the fact that twitter is red now" marios face (Response to i love the dang beach): "it isn't just twitter" Attached to the tweet are two images showing that other websites are red as well. One image is of Reddit and one is of Youtube. The posts on Reddit are all encouraging the reader to unlock their doors. The Youtube image shows a video titled "HOW TO UNLOCK YOUR DOORS (HOT)" daniel: raise your hand if you're looking at the internet even though the government said not to (raised hand emoji) sonic daddy (response to daniel): (A hand splayed emoji along with a picture of Spongebob raising his hand) McDonalds: Please unlock your doors sonic daddy: my ex gf who ghosted me the entire internet (handshake emoji) ✓red at 12:01 AM
5 more red tweets nemesis of trains (Quote tweeting a tweet from the Wendy's account that says "Unlock your doors."): "no (thumbs up emoji)" ps1 megaman: "red internets got netflix fucked up" Attached to the tweet is an image of a sitcom on netflix that looks very red. The subtitle on the screen says "[Audience Chants] UNLOCK YOUR DOORS UNLOCK YOUR DOORS UNLOCK YOUR DOORS" daniel: first the internet goes red and now someone is banging on all my doors like i don't have work in the morning (eye roll emoji) great little day i'm having here CNN: "BREAKING: UNLOCK YOUR DOORS RIGHT NOW" Attached to the tweet is an image of someone aggressively jerking on a door handle. sonic daddy: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" Attached to the tweet is a red image of a small creature standing outside of a front door.
Twitter is blue again. There are 4 tweets. melting laptop (Quote tweeting sonic daddy's handshake tweet from earlier, with the text now all replaced with the words "help me"): "looks like twitter had a normal one last night" sara (Quote tweeting the Joe Biden tweet from earlier, but it now just says "help"): "?" FBI: "READ AND SHARE" Attached to the tweet is an image that says "WARNING: DO NOT POST OR EXPOSE ANYONE TO ANY SCREENSHOTS OR VIDEOS TAKEN OF THE INTERNET LAST NIGHT BETWEEN 12:01 AM AND 1:01 AM" dustin Couch: "screenshot time baby" Attached to the tweet are the four screenshots that you're looking at.
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dustin Couch
@dustinkcouch.bsky.social
3.1k followers64 following15 posts
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