If you haven't had to ask yourself "Did I just shit my pants a little?" You're not really living

One time someone told me “I’ve never shit my pants as an adult” and the only correct response to that is “YET”

Does this mean we’re only truly alive during the action of pants shitting or that it’s okay if it’s happened in the past

Just have IBS or other fun things. Very alive. Tho wishing I wasn't while I wait for my ass to stop exploding

10 years ago i had a line cook everyone called “google phone” (don’t actually recall why) directly say, “boss, i gotta go. i got too drunk last night & just pooped in my pants some. i think working will be weird. i want to clean my ass & have a good day.” & yeah, sensible. toodle-oo, google phone.