thank you so much!! (´ ω `♡)
im blaming myself.. why.. just why.. why did i get into drawing that late.. wasted years before.. why.. this pairing.. why this reverse roles.. why that love to nsfw things.. but i love all this so much..
but then.. i will start to feel that im delusional about what i'd made.. because i know that only few people will like it.. that's.. so stupid.. knowing you do what you want and as you can but.. also wanting more attention and etc.. and thinking you did wrong and bad because you will not get it..
i know why i still can't at least start trying to draw doujin/comic quite long thing.. based on fic i also wrote.. im scared.. im too scared.. i understand how.. how much i will put into this.. and i know how it will end for me.. i know that i'll like that thing.. even if not right after finishing..
i guess.. i really doing not that good for now.. my vision is wrong.. and i will continue like this because i prefer it like this.. but it hurts.. so much.. to see this example and.. just to know you're not like this and will never be.. im sorry.. im so sorry..
every time when something like this happens i really think that there's no place for me.. it would be better if there will be only them and no me.. because i also want.. because i don't do that bad?.. but again.. again.. again.. why i just can't do what i do silently.. don't want to feel all this..
i want too.. but again and again.. it hurts.. im sorry.. im an outsider.. twice.. im sorry i can't do the same and doing as.. .. forgive me please..
im blushing here, thank you so much (´ ω `♡) i hope things will work fine c: