Unbeknownst to the west Hollywood Chevron, I slowly pilfered their store & stockpiled hand sanitizer, toilet paper, canned goods, drinks, jerky, and cigarettes Once the new COVID panic hits and Gavin Newsom closes everything, I am prepared to make a profit! #businesstips

I just ruptured a vein or artery in my asshole because of Jack in the Box tacos! I'm barely awake to type this...losing a lot of blood at this west Hollywood Chevron restroom. Please send help

I am never giving up my storage shed filled to the brim with guns and ammo. The pigs of the LAPD can go and fuck themselves if they think they can issue a search warrant. Good luck finding the location and figuring out the fake name I used to get the shed! 🖕

My stomach is in painful knots, I have a fever of 105 degrees, and my asshole is violently shooting out watery and bloody poop all over the west Hollywood Chevron's restroom floor! I gave Taco Bell one more chance last night, but this is the last straw! Never again do I eat their poison #ShatFacts

FIRE ALL OF YOUR GUNS SIMULTANEOUSLY!

Gotta spend mony to make mony - the Shat man #FinancialAdvice #MoneyMoves #HatersGonnaHate

This way, if it turns out to be a prostitution sting by law enforcement, the District Attorney cannot prove the required element of intending to exchange money for sexual gratification! It's a fool proof defense. Have fun out there!

Discount LegalAdvice for today: If you find yourself in a Motel-6, with who you believe to be a sex worker, tell him/her the following at the very start: "I'll pay you money, but not for sex...I'll pay you to leave me alone afterward because I don't want a relationship."

Use chat GPT. It works for my law firm so it should work for you too.

Your majesty, what is your advice about hiding "up the butt" drugs?