Me with my mum in the checkout queue at Tesco.

The worst moment of my life is always when the hairdresser washes my hair and then makes me face the mirror. I'm like:

Two years since the worst reply I ever received on Twitter.

oh right

Brits bitterly lamenting the loss of the Chagos Islands today sound like a 25-year-old finding out his mum gave his Lego that's been in the loft since 2012 to the kid across the street.

a) it's a Harpo Marx joke b) oh yeah coz I'm well-known for my love of the Tories c) Jules, read this: www.opendemocracy.net/en/labour-gi...

Labour handed £4m from tax haven-based hedge fund

Quadrature’s donation is noteworthy not just for being Labour’s largest-ever, but for its timing ahead of election

Starmer insisting he has given back all his gifts and trinkets and then loads keep falling out of his sleeve for ages like Harpo Marx.

🚨BREAKING🚨Elon Musk has put a bid of $10billion dollars in to that Thai zoo as his ultimate dream is to "own and then eat Moo Deng".

🚨BREAKING🚨GB News to launch second online-only channel (GB News Number Two) for Tories who lost their seats in July. Flagship show to be hosted by Jonathan Ashworth.

The system is indeed broken.