hey its the savior of humanity, the most famous guy in the universe. can you help me gather 6 wolf pelts

You don’t understand Ashley. The fish is for emotional support. And I don’t know if you’ve been keeping track but I fought a giant salamander and a dude who jumped me from an oven.

Whoa. You’re saying the guy who admitted to spreading a blatant racist lie isn’t going to condemn a blatantly racist liar?

And yet knowing my state it’s still gonna be a close election.

Belly laughed at this

Press: Can you expand a little on one policy of yours? The former POTUS: Have you really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? Republicans: Wow his brain is so big!

Bowser watching the security footage of Mario falling into lava and wasting his life counter go from 1 to 0. “Pfft, that guy just mama’d his last mia.”

B-b-b-but the trans athletes! I thought they were the predators! Shit, was it the guys with moral authority in the community who have unquestioned access to minors?

Ian Fleming was an actual adult man who wrote a book with a character unironically named Pussy Galore

Man 15 years ago I used to be all in on Airbnb. Now I feel that whole industry needs to be destroyed.