I blame myself. I didn’t watch season 2 because my girlfriend said “You better not stream it without me!”. There’s so much I haven’t seen 😭

it always annoys me when someone starts talking, gets your attention, and then just sort of abruptly stops without actually saying anything of substance. i’ll give you an example

Me: I’m so full I just ate Panda GF: Oh I love Panda Express Me: I wish it was Express, took me forever to get that thing out the zoo

Time to return Santa’s gifts because he doesn’t seem to understand I need money and not a toaster that makes grilled cheese sandwiches.

I dunno if I was naughty or nice, but Santa gave me more ball hair this year. I just wish it was more hair on my balls instead of a sandwich bag full of his pubes.

okay I’ve let Jesus in, what’s next

It's time for Christmas screaming. It's just like caroling, except it feels good

Learning how digital music works: That, makes snense Learning how vinyl record works: how can one trap the mellifluous sounds of the lyre in a mere ebon disc? they have wed themselves to the devil to produce this witchery

Sometimes wisdom is writing a whole snarky post and then immediately deleting it instead of posting it.